Wednesday, October 8, 2008

What poor, little Infernal Bloggies hafta put up with!

OK, dearly beloved group - the date-challenged Infernal ILS blog agitator, er - Freudian slip - editor has now fixed the mishap with the Homecoming Friday date and all is quiet on that front. This is the kind of thing, to paraphrase Churchill's remarks apropos prepositions, up with which we shall not put!

Let me tell you - please do not take this as whining - you cannot imagine the things poor little ILS Class of '68 blog editors have to endure just because of one little, little mistake. Now far be it from yours truly to be ungrateful when someone dutifully points out a potentially catastrophic error. No sir! Grateful indeed, Bestial Brother Bill, for your careful perusing and dissecting of the offending blog entry and your quick, attention-getting email to the offending entity, enabling him to rectify matters before it was too late. It must be said, however, that since this publication caters to a very smart band - ahem, perhaps with one exception - the editor was confident everyone concerned would...figure it out!

But, allow us to return to the trials and tribulations of the Little Editor That Couldn't. It is one thing when your Bestial Buddy gently nudges you regarding a small misstep. It all began with this electronically-composed missive from Brother Bill:

"Maguito, you wrote down the wrong date. It's Friday, October 10th, not the third. Thirty years working in Social Security has done you in. When are you scheduled for retirement before total confusion sets in?"

It is another when, unexpectedly, blogger's Better Half sees an opening and fires off an unexpected salvo at her mini mate, to wit, via email:

"Bill,
Do you know anyone who can employ an over 55 writer/comedian so he can retire from SSA, yet be out of the house frequently? or should I survey the group for 'opportunities?'

Recommendations will happily be provided by all those who live and work with him.

I need help so when I have to be a 'work at home' employee, we don't have too much togetherness...

Thank you for your support! Lynne

Lynne S. Quiroga"


To which "Brother Bill the Wildebeest" retorted:

"From: urbizub@xxxxxx.xxx
To: 'Lynne Quiroga' quiroga@xxxxxx.xx
Date: Tue, 7 Oct 2008 08:56:08 -0500
Subject: Re: Psst...if anyone got left out, please pass it on - and we thank you for your support!

Lynne, I strongly recommend he pursues politics. I'd certainly vote for him as City Councilman...or School Board member. He'd definitely get things done, albeit in a somewhat confusing manner, with his bizarre sense of humor. He is particularly good early in the mornings which is when most of these political meetings take place. I think he would confuse everyone, but with a smile.

Early afternoon power nap in the office couch or staff lunchroom like Churchill used to have, then writing letters of advice (Gawd!) to his constituents in the late afternoon. Then back home for an early dinner and then off to bed and sleep by 8. Minimum contact. Not much togetherness. Keep him busy, exhausted and sleepy. That's the ticket!

Weekends; rent lots of war movies, particularly from the 60's of German extraction. Blue Max, Battle of the Bulge, Patton, Hell is for Heroes, The Longest Day, Guns of Navarone, Das Boot, Kelly's Heroes. Those will keep him locked up in his room wearing his German helmet until dinner time. Feed him sausages and sauerkraut and off to bed. I'll provide more input as retirement day gets frighteningly closer.

Bill"

[Say, speaking of the "Guns of Navarone," watched probably 10-12 times between '61 and '63 by your WWII adventure movie-obsessed blog fiend - always wanted to know what that foul Greek word was, which Anthony Quinn spits out in anger at some Stukas trying to bomb him into Hades...sounded like "karadalos" or "karadinos"...any experts in Homer's tongue out there willing to provide a translation, discreetly...via email? Names will be withheld to protect the guilty-AQ]

Mrs. Q could not allow the above-quoted message to stand without reply...

"From: 'Lynne Quiroga' quiroga@xxxxxx.xx
To: urbizub@xxxxxx.xx
Date: Tue, 7 Oct 2008 10:12:22 -0500
Subject: Re: Psst...if anyone got left out, please pass it on - and we thank you for your support! - Thanks - some great ideas!

Bill,
Thanks for your great ideas (and making me laugh...). I'll look forward to many more ideas as 'retirement day gets frighteningly closer.'

If he were to pursue a career in politics, we'd have to have separate residences since we're a 'house divided' - in other words - my vote would cancel out his - what a dilemma... guess nonpartisan politics would work...

It scares Albert to know I could run for President, but he could only be 'first dude'. That would really shake up Washington...

Have a good one! Lynne

Lynne S. Quiroga"


Mein Gott! To be thus mistreated by the Love of my Life! What is the world coming to? Must one turn to courting Sarah Palin this late in life? Perhaps she might reciprocate the affection if one were to dress in a moose suit, knocking on her door with a bouquet of roses in hand - no, fear instead the last sound heard would be that of a high-caliber round being rammed into the firing chamber of her hunting weapon.

Not to be outdone or outgunned, the innocent, peace-loving, and harmless editor felt compelled to defend himself with honor; thus he fired a salvo at the two partisan provocateurs...

"From: Quiroga, Alberto
Sent: Tuesday, October 07, 2008 11:21 AM
To: urbizub@xxxxxx.xx; Lynne Quiroga
Subject: RE: Psst...if anyone got left out, please pass it on - and we thank you for your support!
I VILL get back to bozz of you about ZIZ...mein liebchen Frau, I haff a notzion zu eet ze sausages mit zee sauerkraut (das ist der ganz korrekt spellink, Herr Wildebeest!) und der Schwartze - or Black - beans und zenn you muss leaf mit dat, no?

I LOF you bozz? I don't know! You make me sour Kraut-Kuban today!

Kleiner Albert

Back zu zee trench..."

Oh, well...you think you know the heart and mind of your life-mate, of your good brother, classmate, friend...alas no; poor little blog-editor must come to this sad conclusion...

"I know NOZINK!"


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